Thursday, December 23, 2010

You Know What I Hate?

Lazy Lyricists

The key word is lazy. I've accepted that there are plain old terrible lyricists, and that they will almost inevitably be popular. What really bugs me is when they're lazy, prodigy or idiot. I know, I know, we live in a time of instantaneous communication. “kk, ill b there n 2”. No one has the two seconds it takes to type out a full word much less think about the ones they're using. Ostensibly, lyrics would be different, long lasting, meaningful. The pop-poetry of the digital age. Nope.
If you know me, you'll know I hate will.i.am, but I'll assume you don't and use it as an excuse to give you an example; I think it speaks for itself: “Honeys always rush me cuz I'm fly, fly, fly.” This repetition might be sufficiently annoying on its own had he not informed us, two lines earlier, that honestly, he's got to stay as fly as he can be. And you know what, that's perfectly acceptable, I know I have to stay as fly as I can be, which is why I don't repeat the same word three times over if I can avoid it. The issue is that even if you're striving for this 'I gave my intern a rhyming dictionary, got plastered and wrote things that rhymed!' aesthetic, there's no reason to repeat the same word three times in a row when there are equally mundane, but less offensively lazy variations like 'so damn fly' or 'disco superfly' which would have been a bad-ass marcy playground reference. And maybe, MAYBE this would be forgivable if he didn't rhyme 'shock collar' with 'collar' later on. Come on dude, you're working with pretty simple rhythmic structures, take the time to not riff on the same fucking word.
It happens to good guys too though. Mumford and Sons, oh Mumford and Sons. I love you guys, seriously. Thats what makes the fuck ups so awful. Whats wrong with this picture?

“The harvest left no food for you to eat
You cannibal, you meat-eater, you see”

Ok, that rhyme is pretty bad, but the real issue is 'eat' and then 'meat-eater'. A. you've got the repetition. B. meat-eater? Are you talking to a fucking fourth grader? It wouldn't bother me if Mum and Sons didn't have the potential (frequently filled) to be soul-tearingly beautiful. But meat-eater? And that's to say nothing of the way the guy actually pronounces that hyphenated abomination. Again, I wouldn't take issue if there wasn't a far better replacement. Think about it for a minute. This is a little tougher than the will.i.am one. Three syllable word for 'meat-eater'. Got it? Carnivore. Fucking carnivore. Maybe there's a reason meat-eater was preferable, even given the presence of 'eat' in the previous line....wait. No. there isn't.

For fuck's sake guys. THINK.