Monday, November 22, 2010

Back on the horse

November 22, 2010
Mr. Benjamin Holloway
3495 Rockway Place
20394 Mondale New York

Dear Mr. Holloway,
We interviewed a number of applicants for the position of Aerospace Technician and this letter is to inform you that we have decided that a different applicant was most qualified for the position. Our interview team was impressed with your credentials and experience, however. Despite your excessive use of the f-word and a staggering variety of ethnic slurs, your vast knowledge of chewing tobacco and Nascar was abundantly clear. As such, we would like to present you with another opportunity for employment here at Aiostech. The position of Maintenance Mop has been vacated recently due an operator error and we feel that you could really excel in the position. Enclosed is a position description for your review. In summation, we feel that your large quantity of unruly hair would make you a great addition to our maintenance closet.
Thank you again for coming out to Aiostech to interview and whatever your decision regarding the position of Maintenance Mop, please feel free to apply for posted positions, for which you are qualified, at our company.

But seriously, Fuck off dude. For real. Just fuck off.

Eric Limer.

Position Description.

Fuck. Off.